


You Pervertic Dog!

by preciousghouls



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Humor, M/M, m for language tbh
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-24
Updated: 2016-02-24
Packaged: 2018-05-22 23:22:22
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 711
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6097326
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/preciousghouls/pseuds/preciousghouls
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In which it was meant to be their first time, but Oikawa fucked up. Humorously. Kind of.</p>
            </blockquote>





	You Pervertic Dog!

**Author's Note:**

> this fic is just a really bad joke

 

Oikawa tended to do stupid things whenever he was nervous. And seeing as he and Iwaizumi were going to do it for the _first time_ tonight, he was _incredibly_ nervous. They were in Iwaizumi’s house – his parents were out for another one of their “honeymoon trips”, something both Iwaizumi and Oikawa were accustomed to, and since the families knew each other well, both sides felt better about Oikawa sleeping over.

Iwaizumi had always thought it weird how they never questioned why Oikawa preferred to sleepover at Iwaizumi’s rather than Iwaizumi sleeping over at Oikawa’s.

The sound of gushing water came to a halt, and there was but silence in the room. Oikawa’s heart was racing. _Oh my God. Finally…_

When the door to the shower opened, Oikawa jumped. Of course, Iwaizumi noticed it, though he was tactful enough to not comment on it. He’d learnt first-hand how Oikawa would withdraw if you push one too many a button of the guy. As uncharacteristically it may seem, it’s happened. But Iwaizumi was still naked.

 _Naked!_ Oikawa felt his cheeks redden at the perverted thought of Iwaizumi’s lower half.

“…Pass me a towel.” Blushing further, Oikawa nodded and went to the drawer where the towels were kept – of course he knew the room well; he’d been in here countless times. He knew of Iwaizumi’s first bedsheet to the kind of porn magazines he read.

“Here you go >///o///<” he practically shoved the towel through the gap in the door, trying not to look directly at Iwaizumi’s naked body. Not like he hasn’t seen it before, but tonight was _special._

“Stop that,” Iwaizumi said through gritted teeth. “You’re making me embarrassed as well, you Shittykawa.” He grabbed the towel and slammed the door shut; Oikawa’s arm barely made it out in one piece. He stood there frozen, and moments later Iwaizumi finally spoke.

“…Wait a while. I need to prepare myself.”

 _Oh. My. God!!!_ Only willpower got Oikawa falling back onto Iwaizumi’s soft bed, head sinking comfortably into the pillow he’d brought over and left years ago. He’d only changed the bedsheets yesterday, Oikawa could tell. And the thought that it was for him, for _them_ , had him curling into a ball of embarrassment.

Oikawa slid his hand into his pocket and pulled out his phone. He unlocked it with his longass pin, smoothly swiping through the screen with a clear goal in mind. “Gallery”. “Iwa-chan (1,449)”. Swift taps, a few more swipes, and many phones vibrated at the same time. Somewhere out there, Aobajousai volleyball members who knew of their relationship were checking their phones to view the same message.

25 images of Iwaizumi from the moment he opened the shower door to when he took the towel and slammed it shut, fully capturing his facial features, beads of water, and physique. Along with the caption:

He’d always loved expressing his love for Iwaizumi to the world. The replies were as great as he expected.

The more he chatted, Oikawa relaxed, blabbering about “how great Iwa-chan is” and “why I love Iwa-chan”. Then suddenly his phone was snatched out of his hands, and Oikawa shot up. “What the –”

Iwaizumi was glaring down at him, dressed in a tank top and boxers. _Oh, shit._

“Hooooooo…”

Oikawa gulped. _Shit._ Shit because he was caught, and double shit because he felt himself getting aroused.

“I was wondering why you’ve been using your phone so often recently…” Iwaizumi grip snapped Oikawa’s phone, and the latter cringed at the force. Iwaizumi’s face was a deep red from 90% anger and 10% embarrassment. More vein lines revealed themselves when his eyes landed on Oikawa’s erection.

“‘My Adorable Iwa-chan Fanclub’ **_my ass_**! You _perverted, shitty, good-for-nothing-kawa!_ Get _out_!” Even as he shouted, Iwaizumi was already dragging Oikawa by the arm and tossed him out of his room, slamming the door in his face for the second time that night.

“…Iwa-chan…~? Aren’t we doing it tonight? ;-;”

“ **I’LL DO IT MYSELF.** ”

_Do it myself… myself… self… lf…_

Oikawa felt a drip on his finger and raised a hand to his nose to prevent further blood nose at the thought of Iwaizumi doing it himself.

“AND DON’T NOSEBLEED AT THE THOUGHT OF THAT, YOU FUCKING PERVERTIC DOG.”

_You know me best, Iwa-chan!_

**Author's Note:**

> the meme is from tumblr user @oikawaii! i had to use images because for some reason i think emojis don't work on ao3...  
> this wasn't what i planned for the meme originally, but here it is...


End file.
